The Contradictor
Letters to the World-From the World-
I woke up today and remembered a dream that I have frequently. I dream about someone that mattered to me and was taken from me. And that dream got me to thinking about ‘value’. As I look around me and the world we live in, a lot of our values are distorted.
The way in which we judge our significant others, our friends, and the people we choose to entertain, is taken very lightly. It saddens me. While it is not uncommon anymore to see a woman with a man just for his finances, what about when they run out? The same can be said about a man for a woman. Many people place value on things that are not constant and everlasting. I’m not about to give you the paddy cake riddle that ‘It’s what’s on the inside that counts’.
Allow me to go deeper.
Since I was a child, I was always very observant of people and my surroundings. I stare. I dream. I imagine. I began a game with myself for fun that I would imagine everyone I know, in an assembly line as long as it could go filled with people I know. They all are lined up, naked, bald, and void of all material possessions. If we could see the people around us in this way, it would allow us to see what we really like/dislike about the person.
Take for instance, the “Good Hair” phenomenon. How many men AND women would not be as aesthetically pleasing to you if it were not for their clothes, hair, and make up?
What about Tyrone? He hits on you every time you see him at Roscoe’s. You turn your nose at him simply because ‘he looks like he cannot even purchase a meal’. Why can’t you be his friend?
Sure, he’s simply a waiter (as far as you can see)… But what if Tyrone came into $30 Million dollars and started driving a Lamborghini to his part time job at Roscoe’s? Is that when you’d decide to finally give him your number and get to know him?
Or do you take a chance on Tyrone and find out that Tyrone is a lot more than what he appears to be on the outside?
Allow me to flip it.
So you’re dating Renee’. She’s beautiful on the outside. Her parents are wealthy, and by association so is she. She never needs anything from you financially. And you enjoy being around her because of the attention you get to be on the arm of a beautiful woman. Do you enjoy Renee’s conversation? If she were to undergo surgery that destroyed her good looks, would you still find yourself with her? Be honest. Not with me, with yourself.
John is a successful basketball player about to sign a major contract. Would you still be his girlfriend if he had not been scouted that day? If he was still playing street ball at the neighborhood park and working at Best Buy, would he still have the same value to you?
I performed an experiment a month ago. I went shopping yet was dressed in sweats, and tennis shoes. Nothing fancy. I purposely made myself look simple to see whom would help me in the clothing stores I went to. I had PLENTY of money to purchase anything that I wanted. And out of 6 stores, it was the last store that finally decided to not take me at face value. I asked people for help in each of the stores. I told them what I was looking for and was treated as if I was a bother. The last saleswoman helped me and I explained to her my story.
This weekend I went to the same stores, but I was dressed in clothing that made more of statement. I made it a point to simply walk in the stores that I went in before. I was thoroughly responded to…
How many people pass up potential over the basis of material possessions?
And who are you putting UP with based on what they have?
MY POINT:
You cannot obtain success by sitting in the lap of someone successful. You are not rich because the person you are dating is. Beauty fades. Beauty is accidental and most importantly FRAGILE-
So I ask you to do this, RIGHT NOW, Close your eyes or look into the distance, imagine 5-10 people that you are close to or find ‘value’ in. Line them up side by side in your imagination, remove their clothes, remove their hair, and material possessions. Lastly, remove their face.
Is this someone you would still choose? IS there anything WITHIN them that complements or intrigues you?
Personally, I practice this exercise daily as second nature. So if you’re in my life and I make time for you, it’s because I’ve lined you up, I’ve removed all of your clothes, shaved your head, burned your wallet, erased your face and still found something worth keeping…. YOU.
(If this touched you- feel free to share)
Peace upon and within, K~Y
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Dear Bruce,
What should I do if I’ve been with my fiancee for over 9 years, with kids, and he won’t stop verbally abusing me? He calls me names like “whore”, “cunt”, and “bitch” for NO reason at all. I’ve been faithful, and he knows that. He is constantly apologizing about it, but CAN’T STOP! I’ve tried praying about it, talking to him, and his mother… Nothing is working! HELP! It even happens in front of the little ones.
Daisden Confused
Houston, TX
Dear Daisden,
No ultimatum, no “second” or 772nd chance, no nothin. BOUNCE. That shit’s BEEN over. Why are you still holding on? The kids? Because you think they need to be around their dad, in a home environment?
Make like a tree, and LEAVE. It’s doing them psychological damage, and they’re going to think that’s acceptable. Meaning your son(s) will treat their women in that manner, and/or your daughter(s) will seek out and accept that behavior from a man, because that’s what mommy put up with, and that must be what love is.
You won’t be able to tell them SHIT, because they see that EVERY DAY. They’re being hard-wired to think that way, just like your fiancee has been hard-wired to think that way. And really, its nobody’s fault. But you have to distance yourself NOW. Not now, but right now. Scary, right? Feel the fear, and do it anyway.
Teach your kids that they can be strong enough to leave a situation like that, if they ever find themselves in one.
If you have a question you need answered, write in my facebook honesty box, or http://www.formspring.me/brucebriggs –They’re both ANONYMOUS! Nobody (including me) will know who you really are!Dear Bruce,
My ex says he loved me more than anything when we were together, yet he broke up with me over a misunderstanding.
Sincerely,
Miss Understood
Schenectady, NY
Miss Understood:
Either a) the two of you had two totally different definitions of “Love”, b) he didn’t want to be with you anymore, and used this “misunderstanding” as an emergency exit, or c) your “misunderstanding” wasn’t really a misunderstanding, and you really fucked up.
In any case, you came out on top. In the case of option A, you’re incompatible, and it was only a matter of time, or a lifetime of misery. In the case of option B, so what. Fuck him. In the case of option C, well… Maybe you’ll do better next time. Pack up everything you’ve learned, and apply it to the next situation.
Sincerely,
If you have a question you need answered, write in my facebook honesty box, or http://www.formspring.me/brucebriggs –They’re both ANONYMOUS! Nobody (including me) will know who you really are!
This movie kept my attention LOCKED IN like an abused, babysat step child in a hallway closet. There was a point in the movie where I got frustrated with the main character’s dumb ass decisions, but all my questions were answered in the end. Wait-- Am I reviewing a movie, or am I really dead, reviewing my life?!
Anyway-- This movie has everything you could ask for in a drama-suspense film: Confusion, confusion, more confusion, big twists and turns, and a conclusion that ends with a bold exclamation mark. You should treat this movie like an un-flushed toilet: check this shit out.
I give it 5 out of 5 boots. And you know I don’t pass out boots like candy. Unless its Halloween, and I run out of candy.
Overall, this was a mediocre comedy… but it did have a teenage girl sized handful of HILARIOUS parts. Wait. Maybe I shouldn’t have said “teenage girl,” “handful” and “parts” in the same sentence. Whoops!
Anyway, I’m a huge Jeremy Piven fan, but this movie just wasn’t written well enough for me to watch it twice-- which is Bruce’s purest measure of a great movie. And yes. I just referred to myself in the 3rd person, outside of a Facebook status update.
I give it 3 out of 5 boots.
Its most definitely worth checking out though! In the words of LeVar Burton, “But don’t take MY word for it…” ♫ Duh duhn DUNT! ♫
Because no good words/ phrases are left to rhyme with “Maybach” or “Beyonce”.

Because I may eventually want to become an actor, and I don’t want to be labeled “another rapper-slash-actor.” But shouts out to Common and Mos Def!!!
Because girls like these scare the BEJEEZUS outta me:
Because Hip Hop isn’t dead, but it most definitely evolved into something I am not particularly fond of: It has to make “business sense” before it makes “good music”.



…can’t touch this.
YOU choose the small experiences– you hand-pick them. But to see the beauty in each experience is totally up to YOU. Its not up to anybody else to show you. These small experiences add up to your life– Your life is nothing less than the influence YOU leave on earth– What people remember about you long after you’re gone.
“The Alchemist presents a simple fable, based on simple truths and places it in a highly unique situation.” –Amazon.com Review
Most of the time, when something is good, we want to keep it all to ourselves. Every once in a while, something comes along SO GREAT, we MUST share it. I have to share this with YOU, faithful blog reader.
“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy confides to the alchemist one night as they look up at a moonless sky.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself,” the alchemist replies. “And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”
This is the best book I’ve ever read. The best part about it is, YOU can buy this book used on Amazon for under $3.
No, wait.
The best part about it is, its being made into a MOVIE, and LAURENCE FISHBURNE is directing and playing the part of The Alchemist. I feel like a 5 year old girl on Christmas morning who just unwrapped a big ass plastic kitchen set.
Behind the scenes footage:
We often disregard “imagination” as a silly surplus of fairy tale ideas that will never come to pass. We also make the TRAGIC mistake of letting our imagination DIE with our childhood– Our society isn’t encouraged to employ imagination throughout adolescence and adulthood.
A lot of people ask me where I get my ideas. I hear things like, “Where did you come up with that?” or “How does your mind work so fast?” I think these people forget one thing: that we all have an imagination. And
I remember a time when I felt like I had nothing but dumb ass ideas. One day, I had an epiphany: Even if I have 99 bad ideas, I would HAVE to have at least ONE great one! And wouldn’t that be worth the work? So as dumb and embarrassing as they seemed, I never stopped writing my ideas down. Over a short time, they got better and better!
Its to the point now where I can casually “discard” okay ideas, that would’ve been GREAT ideas to me 3 or 4 years ago. I get to choose! And I haven’t had a ‘bad idea’ in years!
But, as with any other muscle, you have to “use it or lose it.” And remember, that first day back in the gym will leave you sore than a sumbitch, but the key to success is repetition.
Exercise your imagination… It has the potential to be the strongest muscle you have.
Please share and support the movement! Lets get these creative cats the recognition they deserve!
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