Brucie B Clears His Throat!

Am I the only one noticing all these subliminal ads? This recession (combined with the heat) is making these burger joints do some CRAZY SHIT.  After I saw this commercial for the first time, my appetite and my sex drive got into a fist-fight:

And now, this…

Burger King has lost their double flood-puckin’ minds.

…

I don’t know about YOU, but when I’m thinking about food, I’m never thinking about sex. And vice-versa.  And I’m grateful for that. Because if I ever got hungry AND horny at the exact same time, and saw one of these ads, I’d probably have a fuckin seizure.
TACO BELL is obviously next, with an over-stuffed Beef Taco campaign. Watch.

Today is a special day. Today is the first “National Seatback Love” Day.

Hey. We know you like to recline in the car. Sometimes to the point where you can’t really see over the dashboard all that well, and become a hazard to yourself, and others on the road. But you also like to have pressure-free knee caps if you’re seated in the rear.  Today, if you’re the driver or front passenger, give your backseat buddies an extra inch or two. Show the homie some “Seatback Love”.

Join me in celebrating “National Seatback Love” Day. Because the only time a grown man’s knees should be THAT close to another man’s back, is if he’s getting his hair french-braided in prison.

…Not that I would know anything about that.

So I get a text from “Blah Blah”, apologizing about breaking my fish tank.  I told her, as a new rule, no dance steps can be made up or rehearsed in my home. She asks, “What about the video game ‘Dance Dance Revolution?’ I told her no, but Mario Kart could be the exception.

So she comes over to play Mario Kart on GAMECUBE.  For some reason, she refuses to play the Nintendo Wii.  I asked her if she was hungry or thirsty, she said she just came from Popeyes. She got a hook-up there, and gets the dark meat extra cheap.  I didn’t put two and two together until she left, and I was about to put the game up.

My controller now looks like this:

All thanks to her:

Are you kidding me? Start watering shit down like everybody else ALREADY does. You can get an extra week out of that ketchup, steak sauce, shampoo, and/ or dish soap. You’re late. They’re already watering down your gasoline.

Click ^that pic to join the best facebook group ever!

So me and the homie Dayo were walking into a mutual friend’s apartment complex. Some 9 or 10 year old kid comes out of nowhere, sporting a backwards cap, carrying a skateboard…

Dayo: “Sup lil homie?”

Lil Homie: “Hey what’s up–”

Dayo: –”DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS.”

I honestly don’t know why I even invited her over. She shows up with her homegirl, and they said they had to make up a dance step. For what? Hell, I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I was dead ass tired, so I went upstairs to lay down. 15 minutes later, I hear a loud ass “CRAASH!!! Directly followed by a deep “SPLOOOSH!!!”

I run downstairs, wiping the crust from my eyes, to find “Blah Blah” and her homegirl standing in a puddle of water and glass that stretched all the way to the dining room.  All of a sudden, she had to go. She said she instantly realized she forgot to pick up her grandma’s dvds (from the nursing home) and return them to Hollywood Video.

Now, I have to clean this mess up all by myself.  Ain’t THAT about a bitch.

I can NOT remember the last time I was listening to something on itunes, and hit the 4 or 5 star rating THIS many times. Your boy Lloyd is trying to bring R&B BACK with this one… I had to share the wealth. Click the link below the album art to download his free mixtape.

http://rapidshare.com/files/240544439/Lloyd-Lessons_In_Love_2.0.rar

Some of my favorite tracks are:

Year Of The Lover ft. Fabolous & Plies

Day In The Life

Can’t Get Over

I Need Love ft. The Dream

Nobody But Me
p.s… You need Winrar to unzip this file. If you don’t have that, you can get it for free at www.download.com

She said her name was Blah Blah-Blah.  Cutie pie. But I don’t know what to think… She sent me nude picture messages the same day we met.  On one hand, I’m not complaining. But on the other hand, how far does she think this will go???

Wear flip flops. The cost of flip-flops during the spring and summer months will drastically cut your laundry bill, since you won’t have to wear socks. Seeee??????

However, if you develop a nasty ass rash from wearing said flip-flops, Bruce Briggs, brucebriggs.com/blog or its affiliates cannot be held responsible.