Brucie B Clears His Throat!

Just watch the video.

5.  You let your kids dress up in cute costumes and collect candy from your neighbors one day out of the year.

4.  You don’t go to a certain building on a certain day of every week, and bang your head on a certain bench while violently fighting off your certain sleep.

3. You listen to “the devil’s music”.

2. You know how to do a GREAT impression of a mentally handicapped person.

1.  You told somebody they’re “going to hell” for any of these reasons.

Moral: The next time you think about telling somebody, “You’re going to hell,” this is what you should do: STOP, kindly shut the fuck up, and focus on fixing your own “problems.” 

Remember: on Judgment Day, God’s not gonna ask you, “SO… What was CALHOUN doing on November 22nd?”  Its gonna be alllll about you.

Come on, Plies.
Nothing says “Lock me up, so I can be raped up the ass in a federal penitentiary” more tastelessly and conspicuously than a  big ass chain with a ski-masked, gold teethed head with the word “Goon” embroidered across the top.

Did the jeweler make a typo? Isn’t that supposed to read “Coon?” Just asking.

For those that don’t know, a “coon” is a black actor, actress, or media figure, who takes roles that stereotypically portray black people. They think they’ve “made it”, but in reality, they are slaves to the same images they struggled so hard to break away from.

“Coon” comes from the term baracoons (a cage), where they used to place Africans, who were waiting to be sent to America to be slaves. They had no idea of this, so some of them were even eager waiting in the baracoons.

Come on, black people. We have GOT to do better than this.

In chronological order:

1992:

1993:

Yes. The both of them. They were only sisters on TV!

1994:

Because T-Boz was overrated.

1995:

1996

1997

1997 ONLY though.

1998:

1999:

At her prime!

2000:

None of them loved me back… To be continued…

Traditional “Jesus piece”, ok.  Diamond-encrusted Record label insignia, cool.  Iced-out Pack of Newports??? Huh???

Most people stress over the price of cigarettes.  Not Noreaga! I think its safe to say he’s the only person on the PLANET that paid over $20,000 for a box of menthols. Talk about being “RECESSION PROOF!”  Now, I’d just like to see how in the hell his jeweler would make a soft pack.

Hope he got paid to advertise! But honestly, if I was N.O.R.E.,  checking my mailbox religiously for cigarette royalty checks wouldn’t be my top concern.  It would be keeping the links from getting tangled in my arbitrary patch of taco meat chest hair.

…And if I was any other rapper besides N.O.R.E., I would slightly bite (or nibble) this idea (i’m secretly jealous of), and rock one of those mini boxes of BREAKFAST CEREAL they serve you in elementary school. Don’t steal my idea!

“You know another class I took at Harvard? Business Ethics. I don’t steal other people’s mother fucking clients, but in your case I’m going to make an exception. I’m going to take everyone; your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers, when I’m done with you, you’re gonna be repping sideshow freaks. You need Jo-Jo the Dog-Face-Bitch-Boy? Call Josh Weinfuck, the lightweight pen-stealing fuckface.”

–Ari Gold, Entourage

Not a twin.

Would you be your best friend, or worst enemy?

Would you spoon yourself in your sleep? Or would that be gay?

Would you get more done because of good influence? Or Less done, because of bad influence?

Would you get on your nerves, because you talk too fuckin much?
Think abowdid….!

This girl needs haters:

IM NOW RECUIRTING MORE HATERS SIGN UP’S START NOW! GET THERE ASAP THE LIST FILLS UP QUICK! OH AS U NOTICED MEN ARE ALSO WELCOMED!

Still doesn’t have enough haters:

“I DON’T FEEL RITE AINT GOT ENUFF HATERS SOMEBODY BRING ME SUM SO I CAN AGGERVATE EM” – PLIES

Oh, wait..yes…she has a lot of haters:

I WANNA THANK GOD 4 THA PEOPLE HE PUTS IN MY PATH & THE INSIGHT THAT THESE PEOPLE GIVE ME! ALSO I WANNA THANK ALL OF YALL HATERS THAT CONTINUE 2 TALK ABOUT ME &KEEP MY NAME IN UR MOUF UR MY MOTIVATION THAT KEEPS ME GOING! SERIOUSLY ALL BS TO THA SIDE THANK U:)

Bruce sez:  “So you measure your success by the ill-will and hatred other people have towards you?” –Huey Freeman (The Boondocks)

I don’t even know what this broad does for a living. But she’s obviously ‘motivated’ and ‘kept going’ by these ‘haters’… I wonder if I’m a hater for posting this… Hmm…

By her logic, if there were only POSITIVE people in her life, she would be a ham sandwich-eating HOBO. Get it together, grouch.

this has been: