Well, not really.  I just wanted everybody to see that I could be a rapper if I wanted to.  I look like I can rap, don’t I?

Overall, this was a mediocre comedy… but it did have a teenage girl sized handful of HILARIOUS parts.  Wait.  Maybe I shouldn’t have said “teenage girl,” “handful” and “parts” in the same sentence. Whoops!

Anyway, I’m a huge Jeremy Piven fan,  but this movie just wasn’t written well enough for me to watch it twice-- which is Bruce’s purest measure of a great movie.  And yes.  I just referred to myself in the 3rd person, outside of a Facebook status update.

I give it 3 out of 5 boots.

Its most definitely worth checking out though!  In the words of LeVar Burton, “But don’t take MY word for it…”  ♫ Duh duhn DUNT! ♫

Because no good words/ phrases are left to rhyme with “Maybach” or “Beyonce”.

Because I may eventually want to become an actor, and I don’t want to be labeled “another rapper-slash-actor.”  But shouts out to Common and Mos Def!!!

Because girls like these scare the BEJEEZUS outta me:

Because Hip Hop isn’t dead, but it most definitely evolved into something I am not particularly fond of: It has to make “business sense” before it makes “good music”.

Because people might try to hit me up for my “Milk and Cereal” Chains!  And I’m not having ANY of that.

…can’t touch this.

What you see is what you get–

What you see in your mind is what you get in your hand!

If you’re not happy with what’s in your hand, change what’s in your mind.  It’s really that simple.

Your life is nothing less than YOU bringing harmony to a beautiful collection of small experiences.

YOU choose the small experiences– you hand-pick them.  But to see the beauty in each experience is totally up to YOU.  Its not up to anybody else to show you.   These small experiences add up to your life–  Your life is nothing less than the influence YOU leave on earth– What people remember about you long after you’re gone.

It just so happens that Life doesn’t happen to you– YOU happen to life.  So LIVE, got dammit.

“The Alchemist presents a simple fable, based on simple truths and places it in a highly unique situation.” –Amazon.com Review

Most of the time, when something is good, we want to keep it all to ourselves.  Every once in a while, something comes along SO GREAT, we MUST share it.  I have to share this with YOU, faithful blog reader.

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy confides to the alchemist one night as they look up at a moonless sky.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself,” the alchemist replies. “And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

–WHOA.

This is the best book I’ve ever read.  The best part about it is, YOU can buy this book used on Amazon for under $3.

No, wait.

The best part about it is, its being made into a MOVIE, and LAURENCE FISHBURNE is directing and playing the part of The Alchemist.  I feel like a 5 year old girl on Christmas morning who just unwrapped a big ass plastic kitchen set.

I’m not mad.  I would’ve done the SAME thing.  Little kids talk too much.

Behind the scenes footage:

We often disregard “imagination” as a silly surplus of fairy tale ideas that will never come to pass.  We also make the TRAGIC mistake of letting our imagination DIE with our childhood–  Our society isn’t encouraged to employ imagination throughout adolescence and adulthood.

A lot of people ask me where I get my ideas.  I hear things like, “Where did you come up with that?” or “How does your mind work so fast?”  I think these people forget one thing: that we all have an imagination.  And

I believe imagination is a muscle: The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes.

I remember a time when I felt like I had nothing but dumb ass ideas.  One day, I had an epiphany: Even if I have 99 bad ideas, I would HAVE to have at least ONE great one!  And wouldn’t that be worth the work?  So as dumb and embarrassing as they seemed, I never stopped writing my ideas down.  Over a short time, they got better and better!

Its to the point now where I can casually “discard” okay ideas, that would’ve been GREAT ideas to me 3 or 4 years ago.  I get to choose!  And I haven’t had a ‘bad idea’ in years!

But, as with any other muscle, you have to “use it or lose it.”  And remember, that first day back in the gym will leave you sore than a sumbitch, but the key to success is repetition.

Exercise your imagination… It has the potential to be the strongest muscle you have.

Please share and support the movement!  Lets get these creative cats the recognition they deserve!

http://www.youtube.com/user/Stovaman

http://twitter.com/simplystover

My child’s father and I are going through a rough patch, and it seems that it is taking him away from things he normally does with us…  Which is ok, but why take the time away from our child?

Shouldn’t it still be easy to spend quality time with our child?  Just because we are going through some things, why would that change that in him?  Is it that he just needs to avoid me that much? Is it wrong to point this out to him?  And if so, is it possible to point it out without him getting defensive?

How should i approach this? I don’t want him to think I think he’s a bad father because he is great.

Stacy J

Stacy,

You should approach it dishonestly.  Yeah, dishonestly.  Lie to him.  Say this: “You know what I like about you?  Even though we’re going through our problems, you never let that effect your relationship with your child.  You are a great father.”  Sit back, and watch things change.

The truth is, he probably is letting your “rough patch” effect his relationship with the child… its tough for any man to disconnect from that situation.  We’re used to the freedom a break-up brings.  With a “baby’s mother” attached to that situation, sometimes a child gets tangled in the middle, and the parents don’t know which cords to disconnect.

This is why there tends to be so much drama between the parents of a child. They don’t know where their feelings end and the new, parent/ business partner-like relationship begins.

Anyway, by using a positive affirmation, you can even encourage a person who’s always late to be more punctual.  ”You know what I respect the most about you?  You always try to be on time.”  Both you and that person know that’s bullshit, but when you use this tactic, you build an environment of positive expectation, and give him something to live up to.

John Mayer said some shit that got some sensitive ass people pissed. Personally,

I wanna talk to Samson!

…Wait– I pasted the wrong twitter update.

I respect John Mayer’s humor & honesty. I Could give a fat FUCK if he’s racist or not. That’s on HIM!

Black people, lets get it together.  We want to be treated as EQUAL, but we turn RIGHT around and get mad when people of other race make potentially insensitive comments.  We turn around and use words like “Cracker” and “Honkey” freely, with NO apology.  Often, with no consequence.  No widespread media attention.

Equal rights means equal opportunities, but it also means equal criticism.

“But BRUCE! “They” did “us” wrong!”  So fuckin what? NOTHING can EVER change that.  Not even “reparations.”  How long are we gonna pull that old weak-ass, cracked, faded, played-out RACE CARD?

The last time I checked, the African-American race were a STRONG-WILLED, intelligent people.  Yet, we still react to the “N-Word” as fast as a puppet does to its strings.  And to me, that’s ALL that word is.  A fucking string.  So by you reacting, YOU ARE CONFIRMING your subjectivity to racial puppetry.  CUT THE STRINGS!

In my opinion, the people who get mad seem to be the same people who perpetuate the stereotypes of ignorance associated with the African-American race.    A close friend of mine once told me he would fight a white person if they used the “N word.”   I asked him, “WHY?” And he had NO REAL FUCKING CLUE.

WHY then, do we continue to be so small-minded,  and let this one word have so much power over us?  The harder we fight it, the more power we give it.  Whatever you REsist, PERsists.

How long is this bullshit “They owe me” mentality gonna last?

In my 27 years on this planet, I have NEVER heard ONE Jewish person complain about the Holocaust OR Kristallnacht.  They shut the fuck up and get money.

We’re bigger than “black.” We’re AMERICANS now.

…and I STILL love Popeye’s Chicken.

10.  The year 2012

World War I.  World War II.  The atomic bomb. Y2K. 9/11.  No. No. No. No. NO. We’re still here.  Just live your life. Because it COULD end TODAY.

9.  Myspace (Social Networking)

A friend of mine once told me, “I deleted my page.  Its such a dangerous place--  Its full of child predators, and people aren’t who they really claim to be.”  If that’s the case, you should disconnect THE INTERNET.

Social networking is just a small reflection of the Internet as a whole. Which is a reflection of the world we live in.  As a matter of fact, barricade yourself indoors, destroy all forms of communication, and die alone.  Its the safest bet.

8.  Harry Potter

Although it promotes literacy, and encourages imagination, Harry Potter and his author, JK Rowling, have been called agents of the debil.  Because it teaches kids witchcraft.

…I don’t know about YOU, faithful blog reader, but if there were ANY room for concern on the effects fictional characters have on MY children, I would be more worried about my son running around in a skin-tight red body suit --with a DINOSAUR helmet on--  Calling himself a Power Ranger.  But that’s just me.

7. Money

People are SO quick to say, “Money is the root of all evil.”  WRONG. Sorry.  The Scripture says, “The LOVE of money is the root of all evil.” Meaning, if you examine  ANY EVIL, and trace it back to its origin, the LOVE of money is the culprit.  This doesn’t mean money itself is bad, or “the debil.”  Money is neutral.  It can be used for good, or evil.

Solomon said, “A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.”

6. Triangles

America seems to have a new fascination with triangles, pyramids, the “all seeing eye”, etc.  I LOVE DORITOS like Ricky loves Lucy, but lets nip this evil in the bud! Lets cut it off, right where it begins!  KINDERGARTEN.  Rectangles are cool though.

5. Any President

Reagan was the anti-christ. Bush was the anti-christ.  Clinton was… Well, Clinton was cool.  Bush Jr. Was the mentally handicapped anti-christ.  And just to be safe, lets throw Barack Obama in there.  We can never be too sure, right?  Peace out with that shit.

4.  Pre-marital sex

I’m not gonna speak too much on this one.  Do your own research.  Look up the definition of “fornication” and the year it was defined in English, vs. the latin root and its meaning.  Read what it says, as well as what it does not say.  Think for YOURSELF,  instead of just taking somebody’s word for it.

3.  Corporate, mainstream America

Walt Disney. Coca-Cola. McDonald’s.  The New York Yankees. Every major record company.  Evil. The subliminal messages are too much!  They’re keeping us trapped! But their products are so good, and enjoyable! How do we escape this cycle?!?!

Simple! By shutting the fuck up.  Let them do what they do.  And you should follow their example.  Not by doing what they do, but--YEAH! You GUESSED it!  Damn, you’re fast!

2. Staying home from Sunday Service

What you do Monday through Saturday will always be FAR more important than what you do with 1 to 7.5 hours on Sunday.  Just sayin.

1.  Jay-Z, Beyonce, Kanye West, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, etc. etc.

If God ever changes the laws governing a person’s “Free Will”, and gives that divine authority to entertainers, THAT’S when you should worry.

And if you really believe they ARE “The Debil!”  that’s YOUR business.   But everybody pointing, making these accusations are doing nothing but fanning the flames:  ”Lets all turn around and give them MORE attention!”  Brilliant!

(For an extensive, unbiased study on Jay-Z and his alleged affiliation with the Illuminati, click here for part 1, and click here for part 2. )

I’m not knocking ANYBODY’S beliefs.  All I’m saying is, live and let live. Cuz on Judgment Day, God isn’t gonna ask you about Jay-Z or Harry Potter.  She’s gonna ask you about

YOU.

Dear Bruce,

I’m not a lesbian. Although I’ve been accused of being one due to my open dialogue of being attracted to women. But I prefer men.

A few years ago, I met a woman online. And if I had to piece together the perfect woman aesthetically, it was her. She fit the description of a woman I’d go lesbian for, at least for a couple weeks. But here’s the problem, I don’t engage in oral sex with women. It’s disgusting, vial, and I think men whom do it deserve a f*cking medal.

Back to me… so this woman, wants me to attend a gay function with her as her girlfriend. I’m afraid. I’m mostly afraid of hurting her feelings because now I realize, I am not as attracted to her as she is to me, even though she is drop dead fine.

I don’t know how to tell her that my feelings have changed. Since she is a woman I feel her feelings are more fragile.

How do I tell her that I just want to be friends?

Miss Friendly

Miss Friendly,

LOL @ “going lesbian for a couple of weeks.”  Far be it from me to consider myself an expert on the subject, but I think you mean to say, ‘experiment’ or ‘go bisexual‘.

Anyway, the best way to tell her you just want to be friends, is to tell her you just want to be friends. Tell her you’re not as ready as you thought you were.

If she understands, despite the possibility of her feelings being hurt, she is a true friend.  If she doesn’t understand, and isn’t selfless enough to see past her own feelings, she doesn’t really care about you as much as you think– and you’re better off without her.  Either way, you can’t lose.

To avoid this problem in the future, you should probably stop shouting your vague interests on mountaintops.  People have a funny habit of taking the words of others as truth.

Ladies and Gentleman.  Single and Taken.  Cheating and Faithful…  I’m sure it’s been said to you a time or two at some point in your life…  The infamous annoying question; “Why are you single”?

If you are trying to engage in conversation with a young lady, one of the last things to do would be to ask a question that implies some sort of insult or lack of relationship capabilities!   Are we not supposed to be single at some point in our lives to find a better understanding of what we want or what we do NOT WANT?  Why is it the plague to be single anymore?  Have the Pretty Ricky, R.Kelly, and Atlantic Starr songs made us think that in order to be desirable we need to go from relationship to relationship with no gap in between?

When in a relationship, I give A LOT if not TOO MUCH of myself as I’m sure many of you do.  And I am ALL FOR RELATIONSHIPS.  I think it is great when two people that are MUTUALLY into one another can connect monogamously and grow together.

I also, however, believe it necessary to be single for a while.  We have to know who we are before we can accept another person.  We do not complete one another, we complement one another.  WE are a whole person by ourselves.  I for one LOATHE the question because THIS IS MY FIRST TIME SINGLE~  Let me enjoy my low blood pressure, my lusting over Ryan Reynolds, my stalker free lifestyle, weaning out the idiots while enjoying the AMAZING, not having a curfew, not being questioned about ANYTHING EVER.

If a woman is CONSTANTLY in a relationship and flirting enough for you to engage in a lot of extra-curricular conversation with SINGLE men… then my dear, THAT is the woman that you need to be weary of.  Not the one who is FINALLY BROKEN FROM SATAN’S LAIR.  Perhaps that was harsh?

So what my friends and I may have nicknamed an ex of mine “Massa” because I was not allowed to even talk on the phone in his presence or pee without permission.  SO yes, I’m single.  I enjoy Khalilah right now.  I love Khalilah right now.  I am finding out who I am and will never let anyone else define me. For me to commit to someone now would be unfair to them  and myself.   I do not go out a lot or feel the need to FIND a man.  I like having friends, acquaintances and  people that genuinely care for me. Time for ourselves is needed. I consider it a bit of a psychological dependency if there is a person; man or woman, that is constantly in relationships.

For more information on better pick up lines; even Notorious B.I.G. had a decent amount of ‘game’. : “As soon as he buy that wine, I just sneak up from behind and ask you what your interests are…  things that make you smile, what numbers to dial…”.

Proverbs 18: 22: He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favor from the LORD.

So I’m not looking for a man.  A man is looking for me. I’m enjoying life and letting things happen NATURALLY!

So why am I single?  Because you’re asking all the wrong questions…

Take TIME for YOU.    Love, K~Y

Guest blog entry courtesy of KhalilahYasmin.com