I hardly “hate” anything in life.

I fucking hate alarm clocks.

So: a CAR alarm in the morning, to me, is like a big, angry, mama-alarm-clock that’s super pissed off cuz you messed with their young.

I went to sleep (and woke up) to the sound of one of my neighbor’s mini-van horns.  A white Chrysler “Town & Country”, to be exact.

But this one has a random ass, red back bumper.  And who the fuck even names a van “Town & Country,” anyway?   Why does that remind me of old porches with cold lemonade?  …Stage coaches, and saloons and shit?

I don’t know… I don’t know.  All I know is, this got damned alarm went off for 12 HOURS. straight.   I seriously considered walking across the street, popping the hood, and ripping the fucking horn out.   BEEEP!  BEEEP! From 10:30 pm, BEEEP!  BEEEP! to 10:30 am.   THAT’S when I decided to

call the poe- LEESE!

Yeah, I snitched.  So what?

Coppers show up 5 ticks later (a RECORD time, for my neighborhood). Knock on the neighbor’s door.  A Sudanese lady comes right out, dressed in her traditionals, and simply TURNS HER SHIT OFF.  Five-O leaves, and the neighborhood is quiet again.

…Huh???